


Newt's Ocean

by thatdragonchic



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alby and Newt talk, Alby lives, Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Crying, Denial, Gen, Grieving, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Newt (Maze Runner) Has a Crush, Newt has the flare, Newt is trying to be strong, Newt's gives instructions sort of on how to go on, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Talk of euthanasia, in depth talk of death, to put it nicely tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 15:14:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14311479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatdragonchic/pseuds/thatdragonchic
Summary: Thomas doesn’t know what's going on, but he does understand that maybe he’s just not it for Newt. (Little does he know Newt’s falling to the darkest energies of the universe, trying not to break Thomas’ heart.)ORAlby lives and finds out Newt has the flare, they have a chat in one of the cars.





	Newt's Ocean

**Author's Note:**

> I said I was going to write a warm up fic, and well  
> DEDICATED TO THE FBN SQUAD who are just the most amazing group of girls ever. Thank you so soooo much to Joanne, Chloe and Amy for putting up with me consistently on there and listening to me rant and hyping me up even tho I send them like snippets of things and mini series fics like 800000 times a day. Y'all mean so much to me, and it is just so amazing to have a group of people who genuinely love and care about you and it's all just mutual support, hype and love. Y'all are the best.  
> I'm sorry to anybody who get's hurt my this.

Alby’s heart stops at the memory of when he notices the slight change in the veins of Newt’s arms. It’s not prominent yet. Not then, and not now as he sits behind the wheel, Newt staring out the windshield towards the truck where Tommy was: standing against the bonfire light, trying to make sense of something Brenda was telling him, and Newt sighs sad, longingly. Alby has sort of always known. Known that Newt would do  _ anything  _ for Thomas. That’s just how it seems to be. And that’s okay. 

He glances over at Newt, staring for a long, long while. Newt doesn’t look away from Thomas, his eyes follow his every movement. Newt probably thinks he’s  _ selfish  _ for wanting to be over there, for wanting to be with Thomas, for wanting to tell Thomas or not tell Thomas. Alby knows that Newt must feel selfish, for wanting Thomas over all else. Though he doesn’t think for a second, that even if he sort of dislikes Thomas sometimes, that Newt is selfish. 

He’s had this figured out a long time. Newt loves Thomas and it’s much different. Different than anything he’s ever seen or experienced in the glade. People fell in and out of promiscuous relationships, but Newt’s heart yearned deeper than that, it was an ocean worth diving into it, the blood in his body, a vast, limitless body with depths unexplored. His best friend was somebody who loved whole heart, and wanted nothing more than whole heart in return. 

“Newt…” Alby eventually says. 

Newt glances over, swallows but says nothing. He sees his focus shift on him, eyes lingering in glance just from the corner, as if he’s afraid to turn. 

“I’m going to save you. We’ve gotten too far for this to be it.”

“What?” Newt asks, head turning slow, dark eyes a bit wider. His hair is a little too perfect, he looks  _ too  _ beautiful to be dying, and Alby hates that. He hates how afraid Newt looks. 

“I noticed… Newt. your veins. And I’m not getting out of this without you.”

“Maybe you have to.”

“No… me and Minho saved you once, and we’re going to save Minho, and then we’re going to save  _ you. _ ”

“Maybe it’s for the best.”

“Don’t ever say that. We need you. Thomas needs you.”

“Thomas… has other people.”

“Thomas needs you, you’re one of his best friends Newt.”

“He doesn’t… it’s different how we need each other. It’s all really a misunderstanding.”

“And if it’s not?”

“You don’t understand.”

“I understand he’s different to you.” 

Newt shrugs uncomfortable for a moment. 

“I understand that you love us… all of us, and that you’re worried. That everything hurts but you want to tell him, and you want him to be there for you. I can see that you think that’s not fair.”

“It isn’t. How would you feel, if you hadn’t figured this out, that I told him first?”

“I don’t know Newt… but I know this is important to you. You have to tell him, before he finds out.”

“I…” Newt sighs, eyes shutting. “I don’t understand, fully, why he makes me feel what I feel, okay? And I don’t think he feels the same, not in this life anyways. But even if he did, can you imagine what that would do to him?”

“Newt…”

“Alby, I am dying. We both know this. When I die, I don’t want him to crash more than he has to. I don’t need him to hold this  _ burden  _ knowing I felt something inexplicable for him, and he could never feel that way about me. Because of  _ Teresa _ .” 

“She thinks she’s doing the right thing.”

“His heart belongs to her, and I don’t need to add to his weight.”

“You’re not a burden, Newt.”

“Alby, are you listening to me?”

“Yes and I’m telling you that I refuse to live a life you’re not in. And that Thomas? Thomas refuses too. There  _ is  _ a cure, and we’re going to save you.”

Newt sighs heavily, looking up at Alby, eyes rimmed with heavy tears. Tears that’d fall fat, and streak his face. He looks heartbroken. “You don’t know that you can help me.”

“I do. And I know that I’d do whatever it takes to make sure you make it out, Newt.”

“What would I say to him…? How am I supposed to tell him I’m due to death in a few weeks time if I’m lucky.”

Alby doesn’t hesitate when he takes Newt’s hand in his and laces their hands. He presses a kiss there, as if in reverence. As if just to remember, in the case that Newt dies, how soft his skin was, how he smelled, how his voice sounded. It was the preparation for death that people did, the way they gripped the details like their vices, how the person was the virtue that left, and all they had left was those vices, those details. Alby doesn’t want to forget anything about Newt. How his hand felt, how his voice sound, how his face looks, and tears well into his own eyes, how his throat closes. 

“You’re not leaving,” He whispers. “You’re not leaving.”

Newt takes a stuttering breath and shakes his head. “Alby, you have to be prepared… okay? I refuse to be-”

“Stop that.”

“I refuse, Alby. I won’t be a monster.”

“Newt,  _ stop _ .”

“It takes my humanity, and one of you will have to kill me.”

“Newt…”

“And I need you to be prepared. Okay? I need you to be strong for me and-”

“ _ No _ . We’re going to save you, you shank.”

“If there is no cure, if it comes down to it, killing me is saving me. I promise.”

They looked at each other, tears brinking in both of their eyes. “Newt, you’re my brother-”

“If you loved me, Alby you would do this for me.”

“What if I’m not the one with you…”

Newt knows he means, ‘what if it’s you and Tommy’ and Newt looks outside at him and a smile touches his lips. “Take care of him, make sure he’s okay for me… please?”

“But what-”

“Then he’ll have to kill me, or I’ll do it myself.”

“Newt…”

“I won’t become a monster, a….” he gulps, shoulders shifting uncomfortably. “A  _ crank _ ,” he whispers, as if choking on the word, as if it’s stuck. “Mate, it’s going to be okay… just… Stop, don’t look at me like that, Alby. This is the sacrifice we have to-”

“I can’t live without you anymore, there is no sacrifice anymore, it’s all horror, all the time. I need you,” Alby breaks and Newt sighs, his own tears spilling as he does, yanking Alby close to his heart. “You’re not dying,” Alby insists through his heavy breath, tears wetting Newts shirt. Newt squeezes their linked hands tight, spare hand caressing Alby’s rough cheek and shaking his head slowly.

“It’s going to be okay,” Newt insists. “It’s going to be okay.”

If Newt was the ocean, then Alby was the simple man drowning. There was nothing left on this earth, not without Newt.

\---

Thomas approaches the car, and in the dark the scene looks off. He sees them pressed close and his heart sputters and shuts off. See, he thinks maybe Newt loved him, in that vague memory way, in that semblance of romance that he has. But how can that be, when he holds Alby like that? When he hesitates around Thomas?

Thomas doesn’t know what's going on, but he does understand that maybe he’s just not it for Newt. (Little does he know Newt’s falling to the darkest energies of the universe, trying not to break Thomas’ heart.) 

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING! Don't forget to leave a comment, I always appreciate it <3 and I promise you can expect more from me soon!


End file.
